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Tulpa Discussion / tulpa-questions
A place for tulpa-related questions and resources. Broad discussion topics go in #tulpa-discussion. If you are new, please check out the pinned messages. Forum Link to Tulpa Questions: https://community.tulpa.info/forum/13-tulpa-questions-answers/
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on parroting
7:25 AM
and my tupper's mind voice
7:25 AM
and so to try and prompt the development of opinions and some cool thinking
7:25 AM
I explained some basic philosophy stuff
7:25 AM
and I got one of those really quiet, vague thoughts
7:26 AM
I tried to let my paranoia go and treat it as if it were my tupper
7:26 AM
and as I was explaining things being physical, I corrected a thought that questioned the definition of concrete
7:27 AM
answering it as though it were real
7:27 AM
I got a kinda
7:27 AM
excited feeling
7:27 AM
correcting
7:27 AM
is this a good sign???
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bduddy #Diana# 7/16/2018 8:06 AM
yes! keep it up
8:06 AM
try to pick that feeling out. Try to talk to it.
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AwfulLottaAwfulThings 7/16/2018 8:33 AM
Now I know that since I'm 14, I'll be seen as really cringey for asking this but is there a problem with wanting my tulpa to look like a fictional character but having it have a completely different personality? Maybe even a different voice too?
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not at all, fictives (tulpas based on fictional characters) are fairly common, and it's completely normal for them to deviate from the character
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As long as you're not imposing anything associated with a character on your tulpa once they're able to make their own decisions about their identity, it should be fine.
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As long as they are cool with that there should be no issue. Mine weren't, but everyone is going to be different
8:51 AM
You won't know until you try but mine started out as characters and later decided they didn't want to be that character anymore.
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@AwfulLottaAwfulThings Quite honestly, I would recommend taking a few looks at whether or not you want to make a tulpa even after your initial thoughts - there is nothing wrong with taking time to make a decision.
9:00 AM
I would also recommend trying to pin down what you really want out of the tulpa.
9:01 AM
It may be that a tulpa isn't what you are actually looking for... Or it may be that it is exactly what you are looking for - but it is worth trying to pin it down
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That's also true. It may be hard to comprehend now but in 10 years you are going to be a very different person from who you are right now. But if you do it properly your tulpa will still be around. Not that that is a bad thing. But you may be looking into a very long term solution for what could be a fairly short term problem. It's something to consider at the very least.
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Deleted User 7/16/2018 7:12 PM
@AwfulLottaAwfulThings i dont think someone your age really has the proper responsibility or ability to foster a new life like that
7:12 PM
its hard shit
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It is
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Hah. That is somewhat what I was saying, though not quite as directly.
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AwfulLottaAwfulThings 7/16/2018 8:08 PM
I know but the past few years have been hard and I'd like to have someone to talk to since most of my family is too busy
8:10 PM
Especially since I just moved and had to leave my friends
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Deleted User 7/16/2018 8:18 PM
I am not entirely against someone your age making one-- my host was 13 when I came to be and we're doing healthy and fine right now.. However! There are a lot lot lot of things to handle with bringing a second someone into your head/life/everything and you can't just get rid of them. You really really need to make sure you've read your shit and weighed your options... You probably will make new friends soon enough! Don't rush to conclusions and make a permanent decision you'll regret
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AwfulLottaAwfulThings 7/16/2018 8:20 PM
I know, that's why I joined this server so I could get more info on tulpas and the pros and cons. But I also know that the older I get, the harder life will as well and I'd like having someone to be there with me.
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If your life gets harder, then it's likely better to just focus on yourself and dealing with things, rather than having to worry about someone else in your head.
8:22 PM
They'll have needs of their own that'll need to be taken care of
8:23 PM
if your life is hard, that can affect them too
8:23 PM
So instead of just dealing with your own problems, you'll also have to deal with theirs
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Deleted User 7/16/2018 8:23 PM
The general mental burden from having to handle two people instead of one is a big factor, yep
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AwfulLottaAwfulThings 7/16/2018 8:33 PM
Hmm, if I could ask, what kind of needs do they have?
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They need to be persistently given attention to grow/survive They need to discover their own identity, grow as a person They may have emotional issues that need to be tended to They may want to possess the body to do certain hobbies and such they like They usually need social stimulation and will want to make friends of their own just as a few examples
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Deleted User 7/16/2018 8:37 PM
wants to fly quadcopter but it's rainy
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@AwfulLottaAwfulThings If by "harder" you mean there's more responsibility, sure. However, you will also obtain access to more resources as you get older, allowing you to handle those responsibilities. And from my point of view, in that equation, a tulpa lies on the responsibility side, and not the resource side.
9:01 PM
If anything, you are adding one more thing onto your life that you need to worry about.
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Exactly
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AwfulLottaAwfulThings 7/16/2018 9:02 PM
@Smeer I just meant losing more family members as I get older as many of them are very sick at the moment
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Deleted User 7/16/2018 9:02 PM
If I stopped giving Shadow/Zack attention and ignored him, he'd definitely fall into depression. (edited)
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So you're making tulpas just to... be an emotional crutch for you?
9:03 PM
doesn't seem right to me
9:03 PM
They're a lifelong companion to be treated with love and respect, not just a coping mechanism
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You will probably find more benefit in making other friends than in making a tulpa.
9:04 PM
You don't have to choose one or the other, but I'd advise against going only with a tulpa.
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I feel like that sort of thing would be a huge burden on a tulpa anyway, to have to support you in your emotional issues or grief when they're likely still young. They shouldn't be expected to do that
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AwfulLottaAwfulThings 7/16/2018 9:15 PM
Mm, I understand. Thank you
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bduddy #Diana# 7/16/2018 9:17 PM
yeah, it's not good to create them for that purpose.
9:18 PM
now, if you create one as a friend, a companion, an equal, and you treat them well, they'll almost certainly want to help. Why wouldn't they?
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AwfulLottaAwfulThings 7/16/2018 9:21 PM
I wasn't going to make the tulpa as an emotional crutch, but I was going to have them be with me during daily activities. After my sister moved out, I missed having someone to go through my day with. I missed letting her vent to me and my mother is very strict about no one coming over if she hasn't become friends with their parent, which she never does. But I thought making a tulpa would be helpful and I enjoy caring for others but my mother won't let me so for me, making a tulpa would be like making a new friend for me
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Deleted User 7/16/2018 9:22 PM
in my experience its an entierly different kind of relationship that wont fill that hole
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As long as we're on the topic, what are some people's opinions? What is the role of a tulpa?
9:23 PM
What is the nature of the relationship?
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AwfulLottaAwfulThings 7/16/2018 9:24 PM
@Deleted User it's not that I want them to fill that hole. I would just like to have someone to care for and be with
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Deleted User 7/16/2018 9:25 PM
and you would like someone to care for and be with due to the lack of your sister. i think you are filling a hole
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bduddy #Diana# 7/16/2018 9:26 PM
@Smeer I like "companion".
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The only thing we're trying to say is, be really careful. It's not a plaything.
9:26 PM
Carefully examine your desires and the consequences. @awful (edited)
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bduddy #Diana# 7/16/2018 9:26 PM
it might be hard/impossible for them to be with you all the time, at least at first.
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In our system we're just as important as our host in things like decision-making
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Deleted User 7/16/2018 9:29 PM
For me personally, they tend to play the role of family since I don't technically have a family outside of my emotionally abusive mother as well as being my friends. Some of my systemmates consider me their sister as well which is cute. But that's pretty much the gist of how it is with me.
9:31 PM
And this is something they wanted to do
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Deleted User 7/16/2018 9:43 PM
My host and I are quite like siblings, giving each other company and help through hard times
9:43 PM
I also help make decisions and all that, but I do go off on my own online and all that too
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AwfulLottaAwfulThings 7/16/2018 9:43 PM
I still talk to my sister at some points, id like my tulpa to be different than her even. Alot different. I'd like to make a new relationship, not substitute an old one. I'd like them to even be my age so I can talk with them more calmly and freely, caring for them like a close friend
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Abvieon {Alex} 7/16/2018 10:49 PM
@AwfulLottaAwfulThings "it's not that I want them to fill that hole. I would just like to have someone to care for and be with" This is perfectly fine. A desire for companionship is the most common reason for anyone to make a tulpa. It's not necessarily a bad thing to want your tulpa to "fill a hole" either as long as that "hole" is just a lack of adequate companionship. Don't expect your tulpa to be exactly like anyone else or provide the role that they did, but something as simple and basic as companionship is a perfectly reasonable expectation
10:49 PM
Sorry for the double posts, wifi was being weird
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As long as we're on the topic, what are some people's opinions? What is the role of a tulpa? @Smeer My first tulpa has taken on the role of, well I call her a taskmaster. She keeps me on task, reminds me of what's important, when I should be more forgiving etc. More of a partner than an advisor though. We are going through this together and we are going to make this work. My second tulpa is much more of a silly friend. Someone who wants to keep things light and make me laugh. Remind me that there is still joy and good things in this world if you look for them. Because too often we just focus on the bad. Remind me it's worth it to actually let people in a little, and that not everyone is out to to get me. That's what mine are to me. I'm not saying you arnt ready, or that you won't be committed. But this is something that shouldn't be rushed into. None of us can stop you but I really would advise against it, at least right now.
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That first part was aimed at me and the last bit at @awful, right?
11:33 PM
Just got me a little confused
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Yes sorry. I missed all that but you asked a question and quoted you. Should have @'ed Awful as well. Sorry for being confusing
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AwfulLottaAwfulThings 7/16/2018 11:38 PM
@Abvieon {Alex} Exactly, I don't want them to be exactly like anyone. Just be someone. A companion for me to spend most of my time with, comfort, and care for.
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AwfulLottaAwfulThings 7/16/2018 11:45 PM
I want to do anything but rush into it. I want to learn the pros, cons, needs, and desires of creating this tulpa. I want to learn before I step right into it
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bduddy #Diana# 7/16/2018 11:46 PM
sounds good. just be aware that sometimes you might need to give them space, and let them do their own things, too.
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They are nothing less than another person that you're stuck with forever
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But also more.
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Stuck can have both a good and bad connotation, depending on the reasons you made them and how you deal with problems that get between you
11:50 PM
A con would be you might end up stuck with someone like me.
11:50 PM
You don't seem so bad
11:56 PM
Yeaaahh... since he's following rules.
11:57 PM
Ohkay
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Always good
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Believe me, you would not want me as a headmate.
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I could go for a host that's less awkward
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<Ponytail> I come on here so much and so frequently I see people warning people against tulpas as if everyone who makes a tulpa is inherently out to do something nefarious and use them. It's an attitude that could really use shifting. All reasons for making tulpas are selfish, maybe just give people the benefit of the doubt?
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it's not that doing nefarious things to tulpas is very common, but the consequences of people doing so are important enough to warrant warning people about it nonetheless
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<Ponytail> Yeah, but it's just silly that I see, over and over, "I'm making my tulpa because I'm depressed." "How dare you emotionally sandbag your tulpa" "No, dude, they're just a companion for me."
5:44 AM
<Ponytail> like, all the time, and only here
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Deleted User 7/17/2018 5:46 AM
In my opinion, tulpamancy is for people. Especially if one is interested only in having imaginary companion.
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@Bethel🌸 I am far less concerned with the tulpa doing something nefarious than I am with somebody making a tulpa they will likely dissipate once their emotional issues are solved, or otherwise for the purposes of using the tulpa rather than treating it with positive and companionable intent.
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<Ponytail> yeah, but the paranoia about it bothers me. I see this all the time here. Like, maybe before patronizing someone and triple teaming them because they, for example, have emotional issues and got interested in tulpas because of that, maybe just ask them to clarify more. Like, it's almost like people are looking for someone to call out on being morally wrong
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I've been on the fence w/r/t to doubt
6:31 AM
maybe Harmony be talking
6:31 AM
but it's hard to tell
6:31 AM
if it's me or not
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